more spells

exofoliate
v,s
bones crawl out of our skin to form an exoskeleton. armor equal to plate, however damage you take is doubled. duration: until dismissed.

witness

m: a bar of chocolate (melted okay)

duration: 1 day

conjures a living (illusory) witness who assumes credible local garb and will testify to whatever the wizard wills. 

screw over

v,s,m: any document, torn up during casting

target: a business deal in sight. 

target business exchange-- either a sale, an employer/employee contract, any exchange credibly defined as “business” (but not “government”, so no arrests, but a slave auction, sure) immediately fails. employer will fire employee, sellers will retract offers, contracters will walk off the site. any participants must save or refuse to do business with the others ever again.

small

v,s,m: powdered sugar

target object is destroyed and instead replaced with a miniature version, delicately manufactured. it is not the same object as before, but a new smaller object finely crafted to resemble the target. 

dimension

target: one nonliving object mass of a piano or less

adds another dimension to target. playing cards will become 3D, non-flat objects will exist at every point in their timeline, which means they look like long worms extending from their origin to their current point to their final future destruction point.

infinity wall

duration:  1 turn/levl

range: wall covering 10ft/caster lvl

wall made of infinity, meaning everything, appears. interactions with the wall will spark all possible responses, which equate to a dull grey matte look and a humming noise. magic has no effect, can’t be dug through or climbed. 

animate books

v,s,m: 1.5 shelves of books per caster level.

books can be capricious, and the targets of this spell either work together at the request of the caster or do something else, depending on the quality of the shelves. books of fiction for instance might act out any of their dramas at the caster’s command or simply fall apart. it is really a capricious spell and the only good prepatory measure is to have a quality bookcase involved.

big axe

summons a big axe, can be used by the wizard rather impressively, deals 10 dmg each hit. killed creatures are knocked unconcious instead but their brains also explode so they still die probably.

miniature time machine

m: 2,000gp in expenses and two weeks isolated effort

spell is cast at the end of a long ritual construction of a time vehicle, which will function once, then explode (dealing no damage but scorching everyone’s eyebrows). times available to jump to: 2222 AD, -14 BC, the birth of christ, the present but five minutes from now, and -111 BC (the birth of the universe, recommend having a space suit)

time machine (proper)

m: takes 10 months to construct and 30,000gp (less if industrialized)

when used this time machine jumps either forward or back, much as h.g. wells’s. if you deaccelerate at a time when there is no open air (or vacuum) for your machine to fit in it explodes probably killing you (6d6 damage). if it doesn’t kill you you get to land wherever the explosion fits. 

the time machine can be reused but if you return to a present after a past you’ve visited you probably will notice countless differences yr meddling has caused.

evil time machine

m: takes 10 minutes and forty-five dollars cash and some scrap wood

jumping in this time machine will send you to a dimension where everything bad is your fault from meddling. if you try to jump back the machine falls apart and is apparently made of paper and rice. 

magic toss

targets: up to two randomly chosen people in the room, one caster-determined target to throw them at

swarms of purple energy swarm over the room, isolating one or two individuals, who are lifted into the air and bodily thrown, head over heels, at some target. as the hit the target they explode forcefully into confetti-like sparks, dealing d6 dmg/lvl of those thrown. d6 rounds later they reincarnate with a loud popping sound and fall onto the spots from which they were lifted (no memories of being thrown).

finger fire

v: a scream

duration: 30 seconds

blistering heat forces your fingers to burst off your body and zoom around. they can poke things, distract people, whatever. on your command they fly onto someone else’s body, and then you can wiggle them around. these losers can chop the fingers off but they do damage to themselves, 2 hp/finger chopped.

to get your fingers back, you have to re-cast this spell on someone else (‘s fingers).

those targeted get to save to grab the fingers out of mid-air, they only get d4 fingers tho

instant market

range: 30ft

duration: until at least 5 things have been bought or sold. casters can multiply-prepare this spell to square the number.

this spell makes people behave as if at a market- they’ll look around for opportunities to buy, sell, or otherwise trade goods and services. if there is a combat happening it’ll cease, each particpant must save with disadvantage to continue (if any one continues, the spell fails). if no combat is occuring no save is allowed!

glue-lord

range (of sleep gas) 30ft

duration: 5 rounds/level

thrown up goo dribbles from d4 random people in the room, or just the caster. the vile bile emits gas putting everyone who fails a save to sleep. those asleep and those awake but willing are drawn together by the puke to create a giant mecha-like creature which is able to yell and punch things hard. the creature will target anyone who has not fallen asleep.

the creature: d6 hd/particpant (roll once and multiply -ed), damage: start at d4 move up a die per participant max d100, speed 80ft, if slain the participants do not retain damage but slide apart and wake up unremembering

herr fantastic’s portable servant spell

v,s

shrinks any willing particpant down action-figure size. they look like a doll, and if not moving appear inanimate and carved. 

duration: 3 hours or until ended by subject

worm juche

v,s,m: at least one sock

a big bag of socks will fall out of the air and split open on the ground. large worm-like things will emerge and begin crawling frantically all around. a great distraction, they will also trip up any who attempt to move faster than 5ft/round.

7 worms/level

worms: hp 1, no attack. cannot be commanded

duration: worms last forever and never die unless destroyed

blanket fingers

v,s,m: a large straw hat, thrown onto target (ranged touch attack)

large straw hat falls onto someone. if they fail a save they are utterly consumed by the hat and shoot out of it’s pores as long, many fingers. thereafter they are a bunch of long fingers poking out of a hat!. they may still act normally but only after about a week of training; up until them they’re just a skittering fingers-monster.

fingers-monster: same stats as original. finger length = target’s former height. **destroying the hat means the fingers separate into different masses and concicousnesses, the target may command as many as their intelligence score. after a while these fingers regrow a body and the new body has as many fingers as the intelligence retained.