haneke's "la pianeste" = the piano teacher

I want to talk about the face Huppert makes at the end, which I once said I wanted to get tattooed on my thigh. The self-harm and anger as defiant, extreme emotional contraction, I think acknowledging that there is nothing there beneath the face. Like you get the autist's rage and you think, "woah, they're angry", and it's about some bullshit but then you're like there's that sliver of a person underneath there like an angry nerve inflamed and pumped up. And it's only a sliver of person.

I genuinely think part of a person is the lack of a person, the frustrating sense that there is nothing there. I imagine touching like a hollow of skin and feeling nothing but scar tissue and the person knows you're there but it means being apart of someone's trauma and NOT helping.

Having sex with traumatized people and depositing your experience in a apart of them that's just scar tissue and the other people's deposits and the few remaining cells working on breaking it down. Putting work on someone's shoulder's, burning through one layer of scar tissue. You're contributing and you're painful and want they want is not what you want. Knowing this and repressing it.

I have sympathy for the STATE OF MIND, I have sympathy for the KINK. Which is the formation in your brain, which you play around with, you digest like it's a pile in your asshole. You don't mind that it spurts blood, but when it does, when you're fucked, it's painful, and it's EXHILARATING. But it's still something fundamentally dead.

Or is it? Ultimately? Toi Derricote says she bloomed as a person in her fifties after finally processing that trauma. The danse macabre.

The dead dance, the dance of death. I love this dance, I love it's cold claw embrace and the puppeting and pirating. The feeling of something uncontrollably unconscious descending and picking up and rippin at the deeper brain, the inevitable pill thru the grey matter.

troika! ghost powers

1. possession
1. ghosts may attempt to possess the living. 
2. ectoplasm
1. ghosts may exert ectoplasm which may remain as goo or take the form of small living creatures or other hallucenogenic f/x as appropriate
3. communication
1. ghosts may appear, recognizably ghosts, to and/or speak to the living
4. flying
1. ghosts may fly and pass through walls. they may not pass through lead, ivy, or more than three feet of stone (or salt rings… -ed)
5. vulnerability to fire
1. ghosts touching fire take damage as appropriate
6. vulnerability to light
1. ghosts may not manifest any powers (#1-#3, #8) in the presence of any stronger than candle light and will lose possession in strong light
7. affecting other ghosts
1. all ghosts treat each other and all possessions (both their inventories and possessed people -ed) (and only each other and all possessions, this means spells and so on -ed, although you may cast spells if you possess somebody ) as if they were fully corporeal. 
8. ghost objects
1. ghosts may pick up “ghost objects” of recently destroyed objects

d50 troika! macguffins

1. single testicle of god
2. a pokédex
3. the tape from “escape from new york”
4. beautiful and sexy jewel thieves chase after the world’s rarest diamond so you’ll become really popular with sexy beautiful jewel thieves if you get it
5. baby with extremely huge head can be crawled into and if you do you get an automatically good idea
6. the six magic puppet strings to run the World Marrionette
7. angel wings + surgery (you can take people into or out of heaven)
8. the subtle knife
9. the smartest man on earth almost knows everything so you have to either prevent him or help him learn the last thing
10. workable portal to trove
11. working film projector / the know how
12. dictionary of all words, you can cross out words. also grammar nazis
13. other low hanging fruit??? someone’s trying to steal silk from the orient
14. the orient is trying to steal silk back heh heh
15. grocery store’s just trying to stay open versus an oppressive developer
16. sword in the stone but it’s still in the stage where everyone’s trying to politcally manuever around it
17. dick-stealing cat
18. rival adventure group doing an important thing and you’re continuously in the way by incriminating coincidence
19. death is trying to play chess with you
20. conflicting apocalyptic warnings and mutual demonization from two intelligent items
21. letting your players know the sun is going to burn out soon and then you’re going to end the campaign
22. aggressive suitors
23. fortune-teller warns of a dangerous sea voyage. quest-givers all try to get PCs to go on a voyage after this
24. bank holding all of their wealth fails
25. god begins sending you burning bushes, etc.
26. pursued by the apparently sentient idea of taxes
27. debt collectors making life difficult
28. divorce if at all applicable
29. kings hanging out with you
30. national feast in your honor goes hairy
31. inform a player that their coming-of-age ceremony is almost due
32. the draft
33. macular irregularity needs treatment or go blind
34. someone’s drone bombing your country
35. everyone seems to be adopting a prohibitive religious cult about an ear
36. prison 
37. jesus of nazareth doin stuff
38. bastardettes
39. seduced and organ stolen, keeps happening
40. grifters invade land
41. battle baby fights are becoming popular
42. roll again and work in trepanning
43. they look like they’re
1. meth addicts
2. cannibals
3. a secret psychic cult
4. but they’re actually:
1. evolved dinosaurs like in the super mario bros movie
2. rebellious women
3. communists
44. communism is being badly implemented
45. sherlock holmes trying to figure out that crime the pcs did
46. the connection between local street toughs and hidden goverment psychic kids program has grown too strong
47. the people have found a portal to (fake) heaven 
48. aliens land
49. incredibly violent ghost
50. serial killer sending in letters to the newspaper

"Seul Contre Tous"= I Stand Alone, a Review

Watched this movie because my friend Rachael recommended I watch it. Ok, I've talked a lot recently about my switch over to a more "violence friendly" style personhood, meaning, I'm not totally opposed to violence like I used to be.

I had a friend who talked about beating up someone's abusive boyfriend. This friend was a person of ethics. Obv I'm not sure if beating up someone is even a good way to guarantee that they stop abusing anyone, fiction would say no, but as punishment I think there's a sort of lawlessness or frontier-justice style appeal which is ofc dangerous and likely to target the wrong ppl etc.

As with 'Irreversible' :Seul Contre Tous: opens with the mistaken case of violence ruining someone's life, a buncha ppls, albeit to the film's credit it posits the life of this man The Butcher in a way such that the act of mistaken violence he has committed was in his past and was something he learned from and took into his self. There's a sort of "committal of violence" which I appreciate; the process of picking up trauma in your life years after the fact (and the wounds) in any way, pride or not-pride.

I'm not proud of the butcher but something in my heart really loves him and I think its the film's portrayal of him, which is of credit, he is a man of character in the classic sense in that it's not fucking around, it's a person, o.k. You take a film which has no bones and lightly mocks the offended viewer about the presence of evil, I said to my uber driver later that I think humanity includes evil in a really special way, I would not pick the human world without violence I would not consider with the rage in my heart the evil of ppl etc. There's nothing to gasp out but a cloying service to the statute, "I stand alone", to be a person in destructive motion, is basically admirable, pathetic.

I promised I'd write a review of Eclipse Phase

1. it's overwritten with some of the worst design trends you get these days. kinda like "we wanna have a big 'ol rulebook and have it be technical and we should explain everything." yes, there has been some knowledge gained over these years about editing and clarity of language and sadly eclpise phase does not doo a good job
2. extremely fucked up picture of stats wherein you have multiple categories of stats sometimes abbrviated to be quite similar (COO and COG) that cross-reference each other in strange ways and are linked to an potentially changing Morph meaning you have to recalculate totals and moreover the information design of the sheets is like long rows of tables all the same color. even your money is actually stats or something.
3. as a result we the players and the game master didn't really know how to run anything in the game beyond call of cthulu esc stat rolls which we were didnt doing properly. we didn't really know how to approach combat outside of skill rolls like these and ignoring all of the rules
4. even the "shortened rules" or whatever is too dense and I couldn't get through it or I did skim it and didn't understand it? but it's still "call of cthulu??"

the good:

1. transhumanity as pictured is a pretty cool concept and the writers did a lot to make it a complete picture of the world. pretty much every subject is covered in the text (social, logistics, transportation, hierarchies, etc) and given enough thought to seem somewhat credible.
2. the morph guide is actually pretty wild
3. there's a pretty compelling history built into the text, the rise of transhumanity happened along with the rise of some super powerful ais
4. I appreciate how the aliens ("factors") are not big players in the scheme of things
5. I appreciate how much of an ass the book has on it, like, there's a lot of global conspiracy stuff back there, a lot of information the GM can use to tell a wider horrific story
6. transhumanity was the basis of some legitimate philosophical questions in play as well some funny funny jokes

the play:

• horrific problem near the end where galactic conspiracy means too much information to keep track of and as soon as someone starts pulling threads you get contradictions etc. etc.
• weird problem where because all information was available to us instantly we would always just hang out in this "airport lounge" style space right next to our ship. which was just sort of funny not a problem
• thinking around problems using transhumanity like, let's take this person, copy their mind in to a cortical stack, and then psychosurgery the stack to find information was pretty fun although it almost always meant we were making the GM scramble
• GM had a whole series of sessions within a simulspace where we played pathfinder

overall:

1. it's kinda a legit setting! I can't throw it in the garbage bin. But then again someone could do this better... like some small publisher... 
2. uhh you can't buy this book and read it though unless you're a person who can read like "evilly written GURPS"

my eclipse phase HACK:

people are cortical stacks. you’re data contained a small grape-sized diamond.

you can duplicate a cortical stack with a psychosurgery roll. you also need a terminal.

in civilization, terminals and terminal equipment are ubiquitous.

you can merge willing cortical stacks with a psychosurgery roll.

cortical stacks can be sent along or into digital networks at a terminal with no roll.

anything you can do with modern brain surgery you can do with a psychosurgery roll.

IF YOU MESS UP A PSYCHOSURGERY ROLL:

One of the involved cortical stacks loses 1d6 of either int, cha, or wis, randomly determined, permanent.

infosec:

Information can be obtained from the network wirelessly via an infosec roll. You can make as many rolls as you want.

This roll is made in secret by the gm.

You get the publically available information. On a success, you also get a portion of private information. On a failure, you also get some incorrect, outdated, or unfortunately imprecise information, or a rumor.

MORPHS

Each morph has its own STR, DEX, and CON, plus any racial features.

CHARACTER CREATION:

1. Roll 3d6 for INT, CHA, WIS.
2. Assign skill points equal to your INT.
3. Choose a morph. calculate skill bonuses, ac and hp
4. You start with 50,000 credits.

SKILLS:

Skill rolls are Skill + Relevant Stat Modifer+ d20 vs. a target number devised by the GM. If you don’t have any skill points youre just using your relevant stat. Stat modifiers break down as per 3.5

HACK (INT)

Used to bypass digital security measures.

FRAY (DEX)

adds +1 to your AC per point.

PILOT (DEX)

Used to pilot any vehicle.

GUNS (DEX)

Used to shoot any ranged weapon.

MELEE (STR)

Used to fight with a melee weapon or unarmed.

STEALTH (DEX)

Used to physically sneak around or use sleight of hand.

PERSUADE (CHA)

Used to persuade people.

DISGUISE (CHA)

Used to impersonate people.

PROGRAM (INT)

Used to create software.

INFOSEC (INT)

see above.

PSYCHOSURGERY (WIS)

see above

PERCEPTION(WIS)

you may not put points into this skill.

MORPHS:

for each morph, rolll 3d6 each for STR DEX and CON and add racial features

normal morph: just a normal human.

ape morph: as normal but +8 str x2 CON and ape-size (-4 AC)

little morph: +4 dex and small (+4 AC), ½ CON

bird morph: can fly, small size (+4 AC), ½ CON

harpy morph: can fly

big brain morph: +4 int, -2 CON (no new skill points)

speedy morph: +4 dex, -2 CON

muscles: +4 str

vampire: with a successful melee you can drain blood, dealing d8 damage and gain as much.

orc morph: +4 str +4 dex +2 con -2 CHA

elite morph: up to +8 in each physical stat and +4 in each mental stat, but these can cost billions of credits. a low end one is 200,000.

AC: equal to 10 + dex mod + fray skill

HP: equal to CON

.

\

damage:
small unarmed d2
human size unarmed d4
large unarmed d10
knife d8
sword d10
gun 2d8
big gun 3d10
artillery (if it hits you die)

sample characters

fritz the loon 4 INT (-3) 13 CHA (+1) 8 WIS   (-1) ape morph 22 STR (+6) 17 DEX (+3) 22 CON skills: melee 4 (+6 str) = +10 AC: 9 HP: 22

shelly 10 INT 16 CHA +3 14 WIS  +2 harpy morph 14 str +2 16 dex +3 9 con skills: 3 disguise + 3 = +6 3 persuade  +3 cha = +6 4 psychosurgery + 2 wis = +6 AC:13 HP:9

setting is the same.

new lotfp class: the pig-herder

-able to herd 3*(2^[level-1]) pigs. herding means controlling pigs's movement.

-saves and xp as fighter. d6 hit die, minimum 4 at first level.

-can issue the following commands to any members of its herd as if spells of the appropriate level for a magic-user:

1. attack- pigs will engage in one combat. typical pig is 1 hd, 1 attack for d4, 20ft speed.
2. find/retrieve- commanded pigs will attempt to locate and potentially retrieve a stated object or person. they have excellent smell.
3. cooperate- pigs can be herded into accomplishing complicated multi-pig tasks such as lifting a wheelbarrow.
4. summon more pigs- commanded pigs will go out and recruit more pigs in the local area if possible.
5. stack pigs- pigladder, wall of pigs
6. behave politely- any pigs so commanded will be treated as acceptable in polite society
7. pig prayer- as commune. the involved pigs will be judged on their pigginess by god.
8. pig ritual- the pigs perform a satanic rite to summon a demon (as summon). sacrificed pigs count as "same race as caster"
9. pigscendence - the pig-herder has complete control over any pigs in eyesight and may command them to perform tasks that seem even physiologically impossible, although involved pigs are unlikely to survive such tasks.

commanding a pig requires verbal communication except in the case of "pigscendence". commands do not need to be prepared (but still limited in number of times per day as if a magic user - ed).

even more spells

fingernail clippings.

bullet brain
v, s: finger gun to own skull
duration: concentration, max 1 Turn
your brain turns into a bullet !zoom! your body flaps around behind it as it zooms around! you get a fly speed of 45,000 ft, you can’t do anything with the rest of your body though. and good luck deaccelerating.

big head
v: groan s: rub forehead
duration: caster level hours
your skull gets bigger. you can fit more stuff in there, meaning if you have to remember anything, you automatically succeed. you can also put things in your skull by shoving them up your nose, they’ll be safely stored.

tarot
m: twenty five dollars cash
target: yourself or one other
duration: until dismissed or caster walks away.
a large skull descends from the sky and answers any questions you might have about one subject: your future and psyche. questions about the future recieve hazy answers, answers about the psyche are spot-on. only usable outside.

inform
no spell components
target: one person you can see or know the name of (unlimited range)
your friend (or an enemy) gets an idea. they do not have to act on this idea. abstract information is preferential to specific text, specific language likely is slightly garbled.

trap portal
v,s:draw the portal ,m:chalk or paint or charcoal
duration: caster level hours
opens an appealing, adventure-y looking portal that will subtly influence any adventure-minded individuals to go inside (still their option, but no save). takes you to prison dimension (as imprisonment: burial)

enchant mistletoe
v,s, m: istletoe
duration: 1 hour caster level
enchanted mistletoe will cause you to have intense emotions if you pass near it, within 5’. the emotions are random; typically, someone at the table will suggest an intense emotion for the target to feel and we’ll go with that. prolonged exposure will give cumulative -1 penalities to any action not acting on the emotion.

enchant toe
v,s m: toe
range: touch
duration: permanent
caster has complete control over enchanted toe.

green grass
duration: caster lever hours
v,s
trap spell, creates a patch of ordinary grass which if stepped on acts as acid. d8 damage/round, clothing destroyed, save or be stuck for another round.

lose thing
1 target, reflex save
m: onion
bad luck causes you to drop the thing you were holding and it rolls or bounces to the most feasibly inaccessible spot.

oil sphere
v,s,m: pinch of salt
radius of sphere is up to 5’/caster level.
range: any point in space within 30’
large sphere of oil collects, seeping from nearby materials. takes one round/5' radius to collect, will float if necessary.  the oil is flammable.

hatred sphere
v,s, m: two cherries
range: sphere can influence up to 5’/caster level
duration: permanent. caster can only have one sphere at a time though
the sphere collects hair, dead skin and loose nails (or not so loose) to an invisible point of space. once the detritus of three people has been collected the sphere’s mass forms a mouth which begins mewing. if fed the mass will, eventually, develop glowing purple psychic powers and a deep baritone voice. it only wants to be fed more.

mass: 1 hd per 2 gallons of collected material, gains the following powers every 7 gallons collected:
7. ability to slow time (as slow)
14. intelligence = 7 and can speak any language
21. pseudopods can manipulate at strength 14, intelligence = 14
28. can cast suggestion once per day
34. range begins expanding 5’ per day, up to double original value
41. can cast suggestion at will

farce
v,s
target: up to caster level targets
duration: 1 minute
target with best save attempts to save, if they succeed the spell fails.

all targets are reduced to ¼ of an inch tall and all of their ability scores are reduced to 1.